“Write Drunk, Edit Sober”

Ernest Hemingway said it best.

Is this sound advice? Probably not. But I guess that’s technically a personal preference. But what I discovered last night while reading through some old iPhone notes is that I should probably not write drunk, ever.

Let me explain why with a poem.

February 16, 2014 (my last semester of college)
1:25 AM

I like to write poems while drunk,
and in the process, think about a hunk.
My boyfriend is a good looking boy,
and I love him as much as I hate soy.
I had way too much to drink tonight.
It’ll be awhile before this happens again, alright?

Raise your hand if you either laughed hysterically, or did an epic facepalm at some point during that, uh, “poem.”

Seriously, I mean, I’m by no means gifted at poetry. But I turned in a few during my time at college that did not get ripped to shreds, so I’m at least okay at it. But THIS. My god!

But there’s also this masterpiece, written the same evening. This time, a short story:

Once upon a time, a circus clown riding a camel watched the sky turn black. He had no idea why, but got his camel to ride towards it anyway. They got to the mysterious part of the area and realized it was raining black raisins. The raisins turned the sky black. The clown shrugged, and said to his camel, “I don’t know, just pop it in your mouth and chew.”

Y’all. What.

That’s all I have to say to these is WHAT.

I, for one, find this all to be hilarious. I’m not ashamed of any of this. I mean, I facepalmed and laughed at the same time, but still! I wish I had more to read!

Am I not searching the right terms, or does a collection of drunken poetry or short stories not exist? I mean, I don’t particularly know that I should write a collection of drunken anything, because more than anything it apparently would read more like a book written by a six year old. BUT I personally would TOTALLY BUY ONE if it existed.

Go vote in my Twitter poll (open until about 6pm EST January 16)!

I mean, if you’d like to possibly submit a poem or piece of flash fiction that you wrote while you were drunk, hit me up with an email (use my Request a Review contact form) or Tweet me. (Please be able to prove you’re of legal drinking age, ha, haha [nervous laugh].)

Because a book of this nature should exist, dammit. 

Here’s some fun examples by my fiance (who has had a lot to drink) —

A few haikus:

The girl is picking
flowers in the meadow. She
is happy and grand.

The Christmas tree is
still up after Christmas and
it’s time. Take it down.

The dog is sleeping
and she needs to go to bed.
But we are still up.

For the record, he’s the farthest thing from a writer. He does not understand how I read books (GASP). It was hilarious waiting for him to come up with the first one. It took him like twenty minutes. Then they started flowing right out of him!

We NEED a book full of stuff like this. But maybe written by people who write, haha! For the record, I am sober. This post would probably be even funnier if I was drunk though. I kind of want to try writing one now. But then I’d become The Intoxicated Writer instead. I don’t know that that’s a good thing for my well-being, haha.

But I’m just saying. Drunken poetry and flash fiction. Would you buy it?

Be honest, have you ever written while you were inebriated? Enough so that you woke up the next morning wondering if a small child broke into your house and played on your computer?



34 thoughts on ““Write Drunk, Edit Sober”

  1. I would you give a big fat YES as an answer! I drink, like a lot sometimes. And when I am drunk, it seems like I am free and ideas just come rushing. But I don’t drink to write though, haha! I think sometimes what people say when they’re drunk is their most honest to goodness opinion and idea. So, why not, right? I voted on your twitter poll too and followed you. 🙂 Happy blogging, *hik*…oooops! 🙂

  2. You’re forgetting the all important editing part. The thing our brain does naturally with inebriated memories…I remember the laughing and the dancing and wonderful times with friends, but I conveniently have edited out the room spinning, the poor decisions and the epic hangover afterwards. I’m pretty sure drunk is only funny in small doses with people that you trust to leave out the awful bits in the retelling. Still, look at the show ‘Drunk History’. You might have a great idea on your hands with the right editor and of course the right authors (that are willing to suffer through the hangover for art)

    • Oh I totally agree. Sometimes it’s not enjoyable at all being that drunk. I was that way a couple weeks ago (well, the first few hours were great until I went too far). Great points though, thanks! 🙂

  3. I’ve written some things while so tired that I didn’t remember it the next morning, but not so much while drunk. But I very much enjoy My Drunk Kitchen, so I would probably pick up a book of drunk stories or poems (or both) and read with amusement.

  4. I don’t think I’ve ever been drunk enough for that, but I have written stuff while coming out of morphine-induced dreams (even brief hospitalisation does amazingly bizarre things to a person) … They were incredibly weird and felt so vivid and important at the time.

    I was going through a phase of wanting to start writing again, so I thought that writing down dreams might help. Reading back on the notes I made when I woke up, they don’t really make any sense, but because of how intense the experience was, they feel strangely insightful. Like I made an effort at grasping the most abstract concepts of the universe, and tried putting them down into words but the limitations of language gave the impression there were no words yet invented for what I wanted to say. (lol)

    I can send you some, if you like! (admittedly, most of them are quite dark!)

  5. I got to this too late, but I would totally have been down. I’ve written some odd things while drunk. I’ll see if I can find something. I wrote one about an attack of ants on a train where the people were being eaten and they lamented having covered themselves I honey… Yeah. Jack Daniels is my best and worst friend. PS – the camel story is legit. I want to know what happens next! Chomp!

    • “an attack of ants on a train where the people were being eaten and they lamented having covered themselves I honey”
      THIS has me so intrigued. If you ever do find it, feel free to share 😉

  6. Yup. And with different results. Sometimes it works in my favour… but mostly I end up filling the page with terrible innuendos and poorly disgused ‘buzzwords’ like ‘banana’ and ‘xylophone’.

    Maybe ‘write on the cusp of tipsy. Edit at a later date.’ would be better… 😁

    • I’m going to test it out one weekend soon, and see what I can manage. Maybe I’ll just write a blog post, and try to hold back my drunken self from publishing it before I read it first, haha! I think that’s good advice though, “write on the cusp of tipsy, edit at a later date.” I’ll save that one. 🙂

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  8. As someone else already mentioned, I feel the same way about writing when extremely tired. It’s sort of a toss of a coin. It always sounds awesome in the process, but the next day I’m usually embarrassed how bad it turned out and need to delete the entire thing.

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  10. I take this far too seriously. I do write when I’m slightly tipsy. I’ve written some of my best work drunk!
    I would buy it.

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